​Sincere advice or thrusting your opinion?

There’s a huge difference between advising and watering down. Sincere advice comes with the appreciation, greetings, acknowledgement of previous work and suggestions to enhance the existing work.

Sincere advice is a part of Deen, as Prophet ﷺ said “Ad-deen an-naseeha”,  and it’s incumbent upon Muslims to sincerely advice each other when they diverge from the correct path.

Advice is carried out only based on Quran and Sunnah with the intentions of correcting someone’s life and the hereafter, not based on what you like or dislike of the other person.

Advice has to be given by those who are capable and possess the traits like sincerity, selflessness, knowledge of the matter and background of the receiver. Every bypasser who knocks your door and dictates you how you should treat your wife is not your advisor and you don’t accept his menial advice.

I have Cymophobia and I am not at all comfortable in boating into the deep waters. The thoughts of drowning and eaten up by the Sharks scare me a lot. However, I cannot force my opinion on a professional diver who has spent years in diving and teaching it. I cannot scare him about Sharks and call him ‘arrogant’ for not accepting my opinion based on my personal phobia.

We should be open to advice and suggestions as it helps you recognize your grey-areas, and helps improve it. Companies and firms do seek feedback from their customers to enhance their product quality and performance. They seek feedback from “their customers” who used their product, who bought their product, who accepted their product. They pay no heed to the random people.

In the garb of giving advice, people tend to dictate their opinions, thrust their choices and preferences. Often, refusal of their opinions is deemed as ‘being arrogant’. Your work is often watered-down and you are made to eat humble pie.

Allah ordered Moosa (peace be upon him) to speak mildly to Pharaoh so that he could pay heed (Quran 20:44). Pharaoh, the self-proclaimed god, the murderer who killed millions of newborn males and the one kept Israelis under oppression, was called to be addressed with mildness so that he would pay heed.

Rashness and harshness in giving advice reduces the effectiveness of it. Hastiness and overtly-preaching attitude makes the receiver repulsive to the suggestions and he chooses to close all doors even if the advice can save his life.

As the urdu saying goes, “Zubaan Shireen, to Mulk Gireen” – sweetness of tongue wins nations. The same applies to the advices and suggestions. Public mocking, humiliation and watering-down doesn’t win a person rather makes him run away.

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